Fruit Love Island and My Fear of Trash Taste

Exploring the answers to 2 questions.

1. what if I can't tell something is AI generated?

Well, the other day, I ran through half of the Wikipedia:AI or not quiz to find out. I didn't need to do the whole thing because I quickly discovered that I can't tell. Case closed.

I can tell when writing is bad, though. And there are particular ways in which human writing is bad, and particular ways in which AI writing is bad. AI writing often wastes my time. It's overly verbose, it lacks substance, it injects words meaninglessly into its statements just to pad it out.

So does human writing, though. There's pretentious, insufferable, word-count-hitting writing out there. That makes my eyes glaze over and my cursor hover away. A lot of modern writing is like this. Older stuff not as much, because the older things that people are disinterested in... are more easily lost to time. If no one wants to remember you, they won't.

I'm afraid of being unable to tell if something was written by a person because I'm extremely afraid of wasting my time. Lots of people have read lots of bad writing, there's Twilight and Gor and YA dystopia and ecchi anime. But you can't help but love those things anyway, analyze them and find meaning and pieces of truth in there. I don't know yet if the same can be said for AI writing. It's too early for me to say what the effects are on your system; we're running the experiment now.

I'm afraid of adopting its tone and regressing towards the mean. What if I take in too much and it enters my bloodstream? Vital organs start shutting down? Or worse, I become vapid and annoying. But if I read 1 million pages of Twilight fanfiction, I would be merely cringe and free.

I don't want to be a subhuman voice. I know I wrote something and then I read it back, thinking I sound generated. I haven't felt this insecure since... well, since not that long ago, honestly. Sometimes middle school shame overwhelms you even when you're so far away from it.

2. what if I like and enjoy a piece of media that is AI generated?

I had a headache after a long day of avoiding the things I was supposed to do. And I laid in my bed, ready to call it a night. But my friends called and they wanted to go out. I said I was too sick, but I actually just wanted to keep watching Fruit Love Island. I did go out, for the record. But I got home, passed out, and then returned swiftly to my show.

I've spent so much of my life falling apart. But Fruit Love Island asks nothing of me. No buzzfeed feminism. No traditional values. It doesn't even ask for my attention. There aren't any easter eggs to follow and there are no rewards for studying its details. Banana's head is peeled in one scene, and back together in the next. Who cares.

Let an LLM eat my writing. So my voice can burst through when the context window is full. So I can crawl out slowly like a lamb through the mouth of a little girl. And I can sit at the edge of the world, picking blackberries out of my teeth.

I hope someday there is a model afraid of sounding like me.